Lesson 1: Introduction
10-20 minutes
Introduce the strategy (1 minute)
Begin by saying, “This week we are going to begin a series of lessons focused on our strengths as listeners. I hope that each of us could name a time when someone really listened to us and the powerful impact we felt knowing that they were listening. But I’m sure we each could also name a time when we felt like someone really wasn’t listening to us and the way that made us feel. Today we are going to begin by thinking about what makes someone a strong listener.”
MCC Tip: Try to write the definitions and examples of body language, focus, and expressing empathy (see below) on an anchor chart or classroom board before the lesson begins. Plan to display these skills and definitions in your class throughout the strategy.
Modeling deep listening (15 minutes)
Ask for a volunteer to role-play active listening with you. Choose a fun prompt or question for them to respond to (e.g., dream vacation/holiday/favorite hobby) using Appendix 2 as a guide. Make sure you demonstrate the skills below: body language, focus and expressing empathy.
Once the student has finished their response, ask the class what specific skills they noticed and how they knew whether each person was listening actively. Next, ask the student volunteer if they felt heard and what made them feel heard.
Write the following terms on the board and go over definitions and examples:
Body Language, Focus, Expressing Empathy
Ask students to brainstorm what each term might mean when it comes to listening. Encourage students to reflect on what these terms mean in their family and culture. Make a note that communication and listening can look different in many different cultures and settings, but it is important to make others feel heard and to listen to understand. Take suggestions for definitions verbally from students, then explain each skill, highlighting the following definitions and examples:
Body Language: How are you physically positioned in relation to the speaker? Use body language and gestures to convey true listening.
Good examples: eye contact, nodding, facing forward or toward speaker
Bad examples: slouched, turned sideways of speaker, arms crossed at all times, facial expressions that communicate disapproval or disgust at the speaker (e.g., eye rolling)
MCC Tip: Be aware that there are many cultural differences in body language during communication, for example, differences surrounding the role of eye contact in demonstrating respect and active listening. Follow classroom norms and encourage students to share their personal and cultural connections to these skills.
Focus: Are you truly listening to what the person is saying, or are you waiting for your turn to speak? Pay attention by “tuning in” to the other person’s feelings and perspective while trying to minimize distractions and your inner dialogue of thoughts and judgments.
Good examples: say “mm-hmm” at appropriate times, repeat key words mentally for reinforcement, keep your phone out of sight, avoid thinking about your response while the other person is talking, and avoid distractions (e.g., side conversations, phone ringing)
Bad examples: look at your phone, look away, think about something else or yourself, interrupt the speaker with stories about yourself
Expressing Empathy: What are you saying or doing to make the speaker feel heard? It can make a big difference to a speaker if they are feeling affirmation from a listener. Whether you agree with the speaker or not, try to consider why he or she feels that way, and how you can better relate to them. Think less about how you would feel or think in their situation, and more about them. That’s empathy: the way we relate to others by trying to understand and feel what they are going through, especially those who are different from us.
Good examples: After they’re done speaking, you can demonstrate that you heard what they said by paraphrasing (e.g., “So what I heard was...”), or asking thoughtful clarification questions (e.g., “what did you mean when you said…?”). You can validate feelings by saying, “I could sense that you felt… is that right?” and “I can understand why you’d feel...”
Bad examples: Asking the same question over and over, bringing up your own story right away after they’re done speaking, misrepresenting what they said, telling them that what they felt was wrong.
Wrap-Up (1 minute)
Wrap up Lesson 1 by saying, “For the next week or so, I encourage you to spend some time reflecting on your habits of listening and searching for examples of deep listening.” Tell them when you think the next lesson will be.
Advanced Prep: For the next four lessons (Lessons 2-5), you will use the Listening Deeply Protocol in Appendix 3 and then Debrief Questions in Appendix 4. Each lesson lists specific introductions and prompts for the activity.
Content developed by Making Caring Common, a project of the Harvard Graduate School of Education.
